Sometimes you have an idea, that slowly has been growing inside of you for many years. But, because of different reasons, you have never fully believed that it was possible to turn it into reality so it becomes sort of a distant dream .
The time passed, I tried and find ways to improve myself, to explain to others what my hopes for the future were and a friend of a friend recommended me a book: "Don't get a Job...make a job- Gem Barton".
I slowly, not extremely hopeful, started to read it. The book was nothing but a collection of stories of ex graduates from the creative industries who made it by starting their own career by working for themselves. I wasn't reading the book continuously, it was more of a let's read one mini-story every week kind of thing, so it took me more than a year to finish it. Back when I started it, I was trying my best to find a job in the fashion industry, running around like a mad from one interview to another in order to achieve this so called experience that everyone was talking about and find a stable job where someone would have finally noticed my potential. It didn't matter if I had to compromise and accept changes on my projects, being badly criticized for the things I loved the most making. What I (thought I) wanted was a title that I could have put on my CV so that perhaps it would have made me gain some credibility, professionally speaking. The problem though is that no matter how badly I was trying, things weren't stable.
A few months after having lost my last job, although everyone asking what I would have done next and pushing me to apply for other companies' positions, I promised myself that I would have stepped out of the industry and kept my creative career as a hobby, so I would have gone back to enjoy what I was creating. So did I. While I was going through different things in life, I kept on reading that book, and while I was working in a completely different scenario, quietly, something in my head started clicking. There was a nice quote by someone in the book named Ian Harris that opened my eyes: "if what you want to do is already been done by someone or by a company then go work for them, but if you cannot find that then you must create it yourself".
My Bläck-Cirkus came to life after a year and a half of name research, logo sketching, and a great opportunity to exhibit my art that I had to grab. There is still a long way to go, but ultimately, what I believed pushed me towards my past decisions an my current state was the realisation that making do is never a good long term option. As well as hearing about stories of people who dared to change their situation opened my eyes and inspired me. Slowly but drastically.
Thank you Sian.